As The Smiths so curtly put…
“I can feel the soil falling over my head, and as I climb into an empty bed, oh well enough said..:”
The hammer and chisel slowly chipping away any love I had for you and any strength I had for me
“And it never really began, but in my heart it was so real”
It started so wonderfully and then you have just drained the life and soul from me, left me feeling unloved, unattractive, uncertain on the person I am.
“It’s so easy to love, it’s so easy to hate, it’s takes strength to be gentle and kind”
You have consistently lied about things and made me feel bad. Picked at things you know are my worst fears. We snipe, make each other unhappy, and now it’s time to admit it.
“Don’t feel bad for me, I want you to know”
It’s not just you, it’s the people we’re becoming, I don’t like who I am around you anymore, I feel resentful and angry and that’s my shit to deal with. Maybe it’s insecurity and self loathing.
“Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so sad to go”
It’s going to be tough starting over, finding all that strength and love again. I need to find it for myself before anyone else, embrace what little is left of that beautiful person inside me.
“Love is natural and real, but not for you, my love, not tonight my love”
I am totally broken, from the core. I’ll get through because I have before. Maybe I’m waiting and writing instead of talking because I’m scared of losing you. But I have lost you, it is over and we both know, it’s not for now and it’s not forever.