The sea is a good place to think of the future


That stolen glance, the ones where your eyes meet and linger. Mentioning that person more than just the occasional whisper. Adding them and liking everything they do on social media.

When they show you a favourite song and you realise it was their favourite with that other someone. Thinking you had something special, that this was to be your memory. 

The past, the present, the future, the things you talk about, the promises you make, the life you expect never quite turns out the way you want.

The sea, that’s where I’ll go, I’ll go watch the tide come in and let it sweep me away. I’ll let my body dance with the waves, my lungs fill with my surroundings, my arms swaying as I become lifeless with nothing but misery and pain fading away from me. With a last breath, a pause, a moment, I’ll smile, and it will be real, finally peace, escape, a true glimpse into what life could have been.

It’s a false start and not an ending

“I started to diarise the coming of flies when gloom is descending
So when it’s back round again I know it’s a false start and not an ending”

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Feeling like you’re alone in your own world of crazy,

The walls around crashing towards your being.

The people surrounding saying nothing but still screaming.

Wanting to say what you feel but not able to follow through.

Pretending you’re ok, you’re in love, that he loves you still.

Really there’s nothing left in the abyss of this relationship.

Going over the same lines, lies and tries.

Believing in fading dreams that are nothing more than winters mist.

How have you become so lost in this?

“And I’ve been dangling in limbo, barely keeping my cool. 
It’s like I’m snookered between the back cushion and touching the 8 ball.”

The Papa

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No matter the time, the place, the problem,

The who, the what and the where.

There’s one guy that solves everything

Papa you’re always there.

You make me laugh when all I want to do is cry,

Pull me away from any darkness inside.

The person you are, I aspire to be,

The rock, my stability.

Your kindness and love for all people,

The strength you have inside you.

Putting anyone before your own happiness,

Blind to the hero of a guy that you truly are.

There’s no one I respect more,

No one I could thank more.

You got me through my heart break,

Pulled me back from being broken to the core.

At the milestones we both hit this year,

You due to turn 50, with my 30 years creeping up on me.

You’re my light, my idol and my best friend,

I love you papa, I always will, right until the end.