That stolen glance, the ones where your eyes meet and linger. Mentioning that person more than just the occasional whisper. Adding them and liking everything they do on social media.
When they show you a favourite song and you realise it was their favourite with that other someone. Thinking you had something special, that this was to be your memory.
The past, the present, the future, the things you talk about, the promises you make, the life you expect never quite turns out the way you want.
The sea, that’s where I’ll go, I’ll go watch the tide come in and let it sweep me away. I’ll let my body dance with the waves, my lungs fill with my surroundings, my arms swaying as I become lifeless with nothing but misery and pain fading away from me. With a last breath, a pause, a moment, I’ll smile, and it will be real, finally peace, escape, a true glimpse into what life could have been.
“I started to diarise the coming of flies when gloom is descending
So when it’s back round again I know it’s a false start and not an ending”
Feeling like you’re alone in your own world of crazy,
The walls around crashing towards your being.
The people surrounding saying nothing but still screaming.
Wanting to say what you feel but not able to follow through.
Pretending you’re ok, you’re in love, that he loves you still.
Really there’s nothing left in the abyss of this relationship.
Going over the same lines, lies and tries.
Believing in fading dreams that are nothing more than winters mist.
How have you become so lost in this?
“And I’ve been dangling in limbo, barely keeping my cool.
It’s like I’m snookered between the back cushion and touching the 8 ball.”